i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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