you would pick up someone in the library
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
