thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
