She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
