I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
