trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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