I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
