Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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