I wish my penis had an off switch
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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