Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
