he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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