and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
