Your dad touched me again.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think people are normalizing furries
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
