He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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