that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
