Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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