Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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