I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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