It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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