On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's great music for shaving your balls
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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