It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
