Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize