he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my shit smells like andre
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
