Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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