If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
