Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
