is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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