I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
