In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
