I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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