I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
