you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
