I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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