Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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