I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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