I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize