well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
