She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
