your room smells of hookers.
And success
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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