You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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