why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You don't make any sense
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