i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
