Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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