i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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