Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
