So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
