I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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