I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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