You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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