He is such a slut. More and more my type.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
