Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
