he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
