Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My penis needs a shock collar
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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