you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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