My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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