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did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
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