Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.