Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again