I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
