My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
