Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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